Raisin in the Pun

A Mother's Day Message "Always Be Good To Yourself Baby"

2009-05-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

By Heru Ammen

I had a hard day last Friday. On August 17th, 2000 my mother transitioned to the spiritual realm. I consider myself truly blessed to have had her in my life for so long. I've had the ultimate blessing of having two wonderful mothers in my life. My birth mom, who loved me dearly transitioned when I was three (closer to 4 years old). I remember her as well.

The last time I saw my birth mother my father was taking her to the hospital for a "simple" operation. I was looking out of the screen door as they drove off and I turned to my sister and told her that mama wasn't coming back home. She died two days later from complications arising from a thyroid-ectomy (removal of the thyroid gland). - which was a pretty radical procedure in 1961. My father remarried about a year later to the woman that would love and raise me as one would their own flesh and blood child; and who I called mama for most of my life.

Last Friday I had a few moments of downtime from my usual hectic schedule and I began thinking about mama. Usually when that happens, I'm pretty cool. I get a little misty eyed, think about the good times or something my mom did, smile and move on. However on this occasion I completely lost it! I was blubbering worst than a fat kid at burger king with no money. It was terrible. When I finally got myself together, I realized why I had lost it. It was during this month in the year 2000 that my mother had the first in a series of strokes that eventually would take her life. Anyway, what snapped me back to reality was something mama would always tell me whenever we talked. I could hear her say to me (as if she was talking to me face to face) "Always be good to yourself baby." That was my mother's signature line for all circumstances; good or bad.

So I'm passing that advice along to each of you here. Treat yourself like royalty. Because that's what you are. Don't compromise on the things in your life that fill your spirit with happiness and joy. Don't let negative people steal your energy. Create your own reality by connecting to the creator within you. Don't be afraid to create your own spiritual paradigm. Because when you do so, you will connect with others that share your vision. And as my mother would say, "ALWAYS BE GOOD TO YOURSELF BABY!!!"

IF A TREE FALLS… WILL WE MAKE A SOUND?

2009-03-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

By Robyn Anuakan, Ph.D.

A San Diego Sunday is best enjoyed in historic Balboa Park. There’s a dog run on the West side, long rolling sidewalks up and down the hills adjacent to Sixth Avenue. Drummers form a circle in a pine grove and meditate for hours on rhythms that only the sky seems familiar with, contesting for an audience with those on their way to museums. Lovers hover around the base of grand Eucalyptus as the scent of spring oozes forth in March. We were all taking a day away from politics.

And then a tree falls; not the whole thing, but enough limbs collide to strip it of branches larger than a pick up truck. We saw it descend on top of the couple sitting quietly, enjoying the calmest of days, where no rain and little wind caused any ruckus to warn the park. There was no reason as far as we could tell. Just a hill with arbors laboring to give us all shade in late afternoon. And it told us we need to hurry up, to support the President’s plan of getting everybody Universal Health Insurance.

We are a silent community, lingering serenely under the trees of our city, some reading in beach chairs alone, others walking their dogs or picnicking with friends. But when the tree released its unnecessary arms, shed its top-heavy appendages, we could not respond quickly enough. It buried them alive, and Timeteo*, its main victim did not want us to call the paramedics.

I heard the leaves brush the branches, the crunch sound I might have imagined because it fell like water and music mixed in a glass; it fell like the best friend that suddenly departs in silence. If they survived the blanketing of fresh sharp wood, then they would certainly need first aid. So I grabbed the water bottle I had just opened, and ran up the hill to see what was left.

The limbs dropped like foul play we would not want to contemplate, but was so beautiful because we’d never seen anything like it, not descending upon two people. We knew this was a serious moment for all to respond, though some remained in their chairs reading, perhaps too high from the sun’s warmth to move into action. Others came, said “should we call 911?” and brought their skills in triage.

It swallowed them whole, this mélange of beige and green foliage draped them like a mean curtain of nature. It was soup and salsa spread upon humanity for our baneful ignorance of climate change. Making its own wind, the Eucalyptus spoke out: “See Me!”, and we all gasped. Out of no where the earth speaks sometimes. You get to choose which wisdom it provides. Perhaps the trees will devour us if we don’t do something soon.

It hit the ground in about five seconds; the bounce left us giddy. What a playful and deadly gesture from nature on such a crisp calm day. For me it was the fear in the young man’s face, not of his injuries, but of what he could not afford: ambulance fees, hospital stay, lab tests, radiology, doctors’ exams, prescriptions for his concussion, the stint for his leg, worrying about liability or coverage from the city, rules for sitting under a tree, and time off from school.

One woman grabbed a bag of ice from her cooler. An off-duty marine kept the young man awake, asked if he knew his name. Another park go-er began dialing the cell, giving the EMT directions on our location while Tim’s sweetheart ran to the car for their phone with numbers of close family to call. She’d endured only a scratch on her foot because her beau had probably shielded her with his back and head as the massive arms of nature went kaput. I figured that was reason enough to marry him.

We all waited to rescue them because first we had to rescue ourselves out of the astounding phenomenon we’d seen, such awesome ugly beauty generally featured in movies with special effects. A copper-colored man that could have been homeless stood taller. He’d helped remove this fella from beneath the bed of roughage, salad for a tyrannosaurus. We all became Tim and Lisa’s buddies—an impromptu club—quickly-formed and concerned enough not to leave the two on down there alone. We talked to each other about what to do while we waited, we convinced him to lean against someone’s blanket. Amidst Tim’s protests, I rubbed his back and joked about his classes at Southwest College. “You get out of all exams this semester, my dear. Just tell em a tree fell on my head, you’ve got witnesses."

But sadly we all witnessed the distress too, of a young man who’d come of age in a country that frightens its citizens by denying them Universal access to health coverage. The paramedics showed up; the police and fire vehicles and park ranger showed up; the public showed up, and we were all hoping that Tim’s injuries were minimal. But we could not be sure that the help on the scene would end the nightmare of worry ahead. I told him if he were my son, I’d insist he go. He consented, and then, Officer Diaz told me about the tree that had killed some children recently.

We looked at the debris again, bathing in the sun’s haze on the park floor. What more could we do, what will our country do? Lisa called this morning to say they both were fine. Tim’s on crutches, but their both back at school. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a student warrant health care and resist getting emergency treatment, but I certainly hope our new Administration will make it the last.

*The names of all were changed for privacy.

Dr. Robyn Iset Anuakan is a professor of History. She teaches graduate courses for California State University, Dominguez Hills, and works for the California Education Department’s Environmental Curriculum project.

What Is Love: From a Male's Perspective

2008-12-05T05:37:00.000-08:00

By Bill Jerome

In examining my own relationships what I have found is that true love is neither an emotion or a feeling; although it does lead to emotions, which is often expressed(initially) through and by sensuality, sexuality, and the presence of the one you love even when she's not there. IMHO love is a spiritual awakening to a connection with another being that is intimate, personal and familiar. There is a song entitled "Rest My Lips" sung by twins Walter and Scotty of The Whispers and one of the verses goes "never has a human face cut so deep into my heart, baby this feeling running through my mind is what's keeping us apart" In other words true love knows its place and there is no doubt between the man and women that love exist between them. It is so deep that one or both parties may be frightened by it and the loss of control they experience when they are with one another.

It is my belief that relationships fail for three reasons; one or both of the parties never really loved the other, loved themselves, or they did not and/or lost respect for the other party or themselves. In the aforementioned cases, one may find themselves in a spiritual vice - because now it becomes a question of being true to your vows (if you're married), your stated commitment to your partner, or being true to your heart.

Intimacy is important to. But that does not and should not always be expressed in a sexual manner - although being truthful, a man hopes that is where his actions leads every time (but a wise man knows that it won't and doesn't press the issue). Intimacy is as simple as taking your women's shoes off when she gets home, washing her feet, and massaging them with oil as she tells you about her day. Love expressed as intimacy can also be as simple as a long walk on the beach while holding hands and just enjoying each other's company.

Love is doing the little things...Love is making sure that your women's car is working properly so that it won't break down on her. Love is hiding love notes and cards in your women's purse or coat with both of you smiling from ear to ear when she calls you to thank you. Love is having enough respect for your women not to engage in discharging bodily functions in her presence even though you've been together for a long time. Love is getting up without complaint at three in the morning to go to the store because your women needs you to get her a "special package" for her monthly visitor. And like my mom (pbuh) love is washing, cleaning, bathing and feeding my Dad (pbuh) after he had a stroke and couldn't do those things for himself.

And finally love is commitment. Because as humans we will eventually see someone else that will look, smell, talk, and walk better than who we're with and it is those times that love will be tested. For if you are truly in love, the above doesn't matter. It only matters when you are not really in love and your heart is not satisfied.

African Americans Run Out Of Excuses For Failure

2008-11-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

By Bill Jerome

When little Lakeesha goes to class today she'll be one of millions of African American school children for whom failure is no longer and option. Bobby "Booby" Washington; a file clerk at the law firm of Earth, Wind & Fire PA can no longer blame "the man" for his failure to finish law school. He is going to have to accept the fact that it was his daily morning ritual of firing up a pineapple blunt and "poofin" on it all day that stunted his career path. There are millions of Lakeeshas and Boobys all across America that woke up the morning after the election and realized that "the man" is no longer in charge. "The Brother" being in the person of President-Elect Barack Obama is now in charge.

Also because of this historic election poverty entrepreneurs (commonly called community activist or black leaders) have no excuses left to propagate as to why African Americans can't do what other Americans do; which is stay in school, go to college, and get a good job or start a business. The fact that an African American has been elected POTUS is conclusive and irrefutable evidence that African Americans can achieve anything they desire in America.

Breaking News: Black Church Building Fund Located

2008-11-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

By Haroldamus

Today Archaeologist uncovered what appears to be the remnants of a building that housed the mythical black church building fund. For hundred of years African Americans donated money to this fund only to never see it used or any records kept as to how much was donated into it. The building fund was found in what appears to be an abandoned graveyard for fried chicken and ham hocks bones near the abandoned home of the late black minister, The Right Reverend Bishop T.A. "Cash" Moneyclipp

Because of his close relationship with God, Bishop Money was able to annoint all donations to any black church building fund and have all of them flown directly to him by angels each and every Sunday. Bishop Money was not a selfish man. For he was known to donate religiously to the recently uncovered secret slush fund called the American Black Pastor's Cadillac (and Mercedes) Funding Association. Until he died, Bishop Money would donate in the nine figure range every year to this fund; which was used to buy new Cadillacs and Mercedes Benz automobiles for the millions of black pastors that lead churches that had less than twenty members.

Health Alert: Mentally Challenged Negro Syndrome

2008-11-10T07:12:00.000-08:00

By Bill Jerome

A previously unknown condition called "Mentally Challenged Negro Syndrome" has just been diagnosed by a group of doctors at the Center For Negro Studies located in Coonville, MS. This condition, which was suspected but for years had gone undiagnosed recently became an issue during the 2008 election.

Doctors were suspicious that something was amiss when around six-percent of African Americans voted for the Republican candidate for President, Senator John McCain over the African American candidate, Senator Barrack Obama.

Dr. Eaten Noworlaters who lead this study and named the syndrome concluded that "any black man or women that choose McCain over Obama for President had to be straight out of their dayum mind." he also added that "there is just no other conclusion that one can come to in this situation. These mentally challenged Negroes need help."

When asked about the symptoms, Dr. Noworlaters gave Raisin in the Pun a published paper regarding this syndrome. In the cultural vernacular only an African American (and those with an African American cultural mindset) can appreciate the list is as follows:

If You're An African American, You May Be Suffering From Mentally Challenged Negro Syndrome-

If you consume more than four pork products a week.
If those pork products include; souse meat, spam, chitlins' pig feet and/or sausage in a can.
If you believe a white man-god with holes in his hands will float out of the sky and save you.
If you watch and donate to pat Robertson's 700 Club.
If you believe that John McCain really likes black people.
If you have no problem with a picture of a white Jesus hanging in your church or home.
If you thought Jesse Helms was "a good white man."
If your idea of a vacation getaway for you is spending time at old southern plantations reminiscing about the good life your great-great-great grandmother had being Mr. Charlie's slave cook and love toy.
If you're a Republican.
If you think Trent Lott's speech commending Strom Thurmond segregationist stance when he ran for President was just a unintentional faux pas.

These are just a few of the symptoms. More research is being done and this list will be updated.

Mentally Challenged Negroes Vote Overwhelmingly For McCain

2008-11-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

By Bill Jerome

In a new Peeonu research poll, 99% of African Americans voted for Senator Obama for President. The poll also shows that mentally challenged Negroes voted overwhelmingly for McCain. This is the only poll that broke down the "black vote" in sub-categories such as African American and Negro to come up with this statistic.

Peeonu researcher Professor Blaque Mealee-Tant said it was "necessary to separate the black vote in this manner" because "it was obvious to her that any black man or women that voted for Republican John McCain after 400 years of slavery, rape, being forced to eat chitlins' genocide, Jim Crow, Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond had to be suffering from the condition known as Mentally Challenged Negro Syndrome."

Other subcategories for the black vote that were polled included blunt smokers, overweight Black men with small penises, infeminate male choir directors, big black women with ashy feet, private pharmaceutical marketers, and black women with facial and chest hair. All of these group voted overwhelmingly for Senator Obama. Professor Mealee-Tant said that she wanted to have more subcategories. Unfortunately she was stymied in this pursuit because crackheads and black Jehovah Witnesses did not vote in significant numbers to be counted this time around.