Friday, December 5, 2008

What Is Love: From a Male's Perspective

By Bill Jerome

In examining my own relationships what I have found is that true love is neither an emotion or a feeling; although it does lead to emotions, which is often expressed(initially) through and by sensuality, sexuality, and the presence of the one you love even when she's not there. IMHO love is a spiritual awakening to a connection with another being that is intimate, personal and familiar. There is a song entitled "Rest My Lips"  sung by twins Walter and Scotty of The Whispers and one of the verses goes "never has a human face cut so deep into my heart, baby this feeling running through my mind is what's keeping us apart" In other words true love knows its place and there is no doubt between the man and women that love exist between them. It is so deep that one or both parties may be frightened by it and the loss of control they experience when they are with one another.

It is my belief that relationships fail for three reasons; one or both of the parties never really loved the other, loved themselves, or they did not and/or lost respect for the other party or themselves. In the aforementioned cases, one may find themselves in a spiritual vice - because now it becomes a question of being true to your vows (if you're married), your stated commitment to your partner, or being true to your heart.

Intimacy is important to. But that does not and should not always be expressed in a sexual manner - although being truthful, a man hopes that is where his actions leads every time (but a wise man knows that it won't and doesn't press the issue). Intimacy is as simple as taking your women's shoes off when she gets home, washing her feet, and massaging them with oil as she tells you about her day. Love expressed as intimacy can also be as simple as a long walk on the beach while holding hands and just enjoying each other's company.

Love is doing the little things...Love is making sure that your women's car is working properly so that it won't break down on her. Love is hiding love notes and cards in your women's purse or coat with both of you smiling from ear to ear when she calls you to thank you. Love is having enough respect for your women not to engage in discharging bodily functions in her presence even though you've been together for a long time. Love is getting up without complaint at three in the morning to go to the store because your women needs you to get her a "special package" for her monthly visitor. And like my mom (pbuh) love is washing, cleaning, bathing and feeding my Dad (pbuh) after he had a stroke and couldn't do those things for himself.

And finally love is commitment. Because as humans we will eventually see someone else that will look, smell, talk, and walk better than who we're with and it is those times that love will be tested. For if you are truly in love, the above doesn't matter. It only matters when you are not really in love and your heart is not satisfied.